I Love them. The are wonderfully lazy and when they are awake all they seem to do is eat but they are so very cute. Gaint Panda's indeed, it makes them sound vicious, I'd give them all a big hug....and tried!!

We ...ddddrr....took a tour and headed off with surprisingly likeminded travellers to the Chengdu Panda Reserch centre at the ungodly hour of 7.30am. The beers may be 30p but you do feel it in the morning.

As usual for China (it just rubs off on you) we all pushed and shoved to get to the Panda's first. We did'nt realise this place was huge, or that they were still alseep and the best uncrowded near private views would be later.

It really was very special to be able to stand mere feet from them eating their daily feed of bamboo, slowly slowly moving across the bridges to go and sit with their mates....or sleep somemore.

These panda's need to be here because there are only 1000 left in the world. Noooooooo save the Panda's! The ultimate goal is to re-introduce them into the wild. Sichuan province is where they are from and the centre is world renouned.

To see the babies was a tear jerking moment. They were in little incubators like in a ward for premature babies. They looked as if they shouldnt have been born yet, no fur, unable to move and hardly able to bottle fed. No wonder so many die naturally, their mothers would just crush them.

We were lucky enough to be invited to hold and cuddle a red panda. They look a bit like a racoon with big bushy tails and they loved the attention. It was all done very professionally, gloves, surgical coats, the works.

3 hours was enough time, especially as we were graced with a monsoon type downpour at about 10.30. All is good, we've seen the Panda's. I never thought I would see so many animals on this world trip, I feel really lucky. It was great that my Mum was there too. I bet she never though she would see Panda's...or are they in Chester zoo? I told some Chinese people on our next overnight train ride about our experience, wondering if they had visited the famous attraction that brings tourists from around the globe. They said there was no need, they'd seen them on the tele!

When Jez first suggested going to see this Buddha it was a resolute "no" from me! I was a bit overloaded with Buddhas, tiny Thai amulets, small Laoatian figurines, jade diamond encrusted Cambodian images in palaces, large Burmese shrines in temples and huge Mongolian idols. A bit buddha'd out really!

BUT, my mum and John had'nt seen so many and it was the biggest in the world. So we went and it was definately worth it.

We took a private minibus from MIX hostel for the 2 hour trip. The hours queing for tickets the day before at the railway station and the memories of millions of Chinese barging past you, spitting and screaching had not diminished and we needed some peace...even if it was just for 2 hours.

His toes are bigger than me!

We took a tourist boat for half an hour to see the Buddha from the water. It was indeed massive. You could see hoards of people clambering down the huge rock face it had been calved into looking like ants next to high rises. If it wasnt for the bellowing Chinese loud speaker touting guides it may have been quite a spiritual moment. 5 chinese people floated past our boat in the grimy, muddy, horrid litter ridden water, swimming hats on shouting prayers and trying desperately to press their hands together is gesture of prayer whilst the current carried them into yet more gunk. Devoted indeed, a little bit over the top maybe, absolutely hilarious definately!

We decided to follow the crowds and brave the walk to his feet. We waited in lines and lines of ques just like in Alton towers. And then it started to rain. And then the heavens opened and the Chinese lost all sense of the new and strange phenonenon that was the inflicted queueing system and began to leap over the barriers to the nearest pagoda. We waited it out. We were soaked after the first 3 minutes anyway. Completely soaked. One young girl ventured out from under the pagaoda and lent us her umbrella. How nice was that. Well we did look ridiculous.

2 minutes of spitituality amongst the scrum

The climb down after the inevitable bottle neck due to the guards doing a runner from the rain was very slippy. We slide through sacred caves with images carved into the sandstone, and slowly from his head to his toes saw the Grand Buddha up close. He was built in the 8th century and he took nearly 90 years to carve. Thousands of workers helped to make him what he is today. Massive! He is 71 meters (about 233 feet) high, and has three-meter-long (about 11 feet) fingers. His ears are 7 metres (23 feet) long. Ha! his toe nails are bigger than me. He was the vision of a monk called Hai Tong who wanted to do something to stop the number of accidents and deaths of his fellow people caused by the raging waters. The people belived these accidents were because of a water spirit. Hai Tong collected alms for over 20 years and managed to fulfil his dream. He built the Buddha to calm the water spirit. It seemed to work, but whether this was due to the Buddha being able to control the water spirit or the sheer amount of stone being dropped into it is a mystery.

We lost ourselves (literally) in the gardens surrounding the buddha. pagoda's, caves, waterfalls, it really was quite beautiful. We would have made it back to the bus at the agreed time aswell if it wasnt for the chinese guard at the gate deciding that we had to climb yet another hundred million steps and use a different exit. Oh well who's for spicy ass meat or jellyfish?

No trip to China is complete without the big three; The Wall, the Forbidden City and the Terracotta Army. We had two under our belts so far, it was time to clean up.

As we'd done throughout China we already had a place booked to pick us up from the bus, take us to our rooms, pamper and preen our tourist needs. This time it was the Shuyuan hostel, right in the shadow of Xi-an's enormously massive City Walls. After a few minutes sorting the rooms out we got down to the serious business of buying the beers and finding out what the DVD collection was like (I really like Chinese youth hostels). This was bar-b-que night too, what utter joy.

According to the crazy Chinese lady who was our guide the next day the Terracotta warriors are without a doubt the single most important archaeological find of all time, bar none. At least I think that's what she said, her accent was so unbelievably strong we had to club together after each stop to compare notes. At one point I thought she said they were made of cheese, but she was probably just pointing out the toilets.

Basically, in 246BC, at the not so tender age of 13 Qin Shi Huang ascended the throne of what would later be the whole of China (Qin is pronounced Chin, his name is where the word China actually comes from). He was unusual amongst normal 13 year olds in that he immediately began making preparations for his death. It took many years and a whole lot of clay but eventually thousands upon thousands of lifesized figures in military attire were buried in huge pits to await his death. They were supposed to be an army to accompany him into the afterlife, presumably so he could continue to conquer stuff there. According to some their faces, each of which is unique were modelled on those of his real army at the time. Either way it's an incredible undertaking and seeing it completely boggles the mind. I'm always amazed at the things rich people will do because they can't handle the fact that they're going to die.

We started off in the smallest of the three open pits (so we would be impressed each time we went to the next, bigger one). They really are pretty fantastic. Archers flanking spearmen, swordsmen, generals, chariots and even equipment and supplies. Our first pit contained only 68 warriors, four horses and one chariot, and these were impressive. Some of the pits had been broken into (after Qin's death by his enemies) and wrecked, but even these are incredible in their own way, piles of disembodies limbs, the odd head and foot sticking out of the clay. Our guide mumbled information at us inaudably and we moved on to pit two. This one is much bigger, 1000 warriors, 500 horses and 89 chariots, kneeling crossbowmen and armoured archers, an army in battle formation. You don't see the chariots of course, they were made of wood and rotted away years before, but the effect is the same. Imagine our reaction then when we walked into the third pit. There are over 6000 warriors and horses arranged in a battle line formation with a vanguard, crossbow armed rearguard, flanking troops, officers and command group. It really does look amazing. We walked all the way round the whole pit seeing something new every time we got to a new squad (seventy strong units in file). Our guide told us of a German tourist who became convinced he actually was a terracotta warrior. Someone spotted him in amongst the ranks in pit 1, dressed in clay armour with made up skin and a plastic sword. He was trying very hard to be still, but his eyes apparantly gave him away. Security guards had to carry him out, kicking and screaming. I'd have admired him more if he stayed stiff at attention like all the other warriors would if they were carried outbut great all the same.

As impressive as these big clay soldiers undoubtably are, there is only so much anyone can take in one day. We wandered round the touristy souvenirs, followed closely by our guide/leech who talked the prices up so she could get commission from whatever we might be buying. We tried elaborate schemes to shake her but she was tenatious and just kept appearing as soon as we looked like we might buy something. We got rid of her for a while in the museum, then she just materialised as soon as Amanda stepped into a shop, it was uncanny.

In the end we just legged it for the entrance and hoped for the best, we weren't too subtle so I suppose she got the message because we didn't see her again and I was able to buy a little terracotta figure in peace (price with guide 55 Yuan, price without 5 Yuan...)

The tomb of Liu Qi, the minicota warriors

Most people get out of Xi-an once the terracotta warriors are 'done', we had another place Amanda wanted to see which turned out be be awesome. The Emperor Liu Qi, of the Western Han Dynasty ruled till 153 AD. He was buried according to his wishes in the same was the great Emperor Qin was buried, with thousands of terracotta figures to acompany him to the afterlife. His followers obviously got the wrong idea though, or were just tight fisted maybe, the figures at his tomb are like little minicotta warriors, only coming up to my knees. The museum is great and very cleverly designed, it's built directly over the separate pits still full of little clay soldiers and mini horses. You can wander on clear glass walkways and peer down into history. The figures include civilians, dancers, female soldiers, and servants and come with a dazzling array of tiny accessories like mini belt buckles, mini swords, mini pots and pans and all sorts of stuff. It's like a larger than life dolls house. There are even clay animals, moulded along into the afterlife, chickens, ducks, dogs, pigs and piglets, cows, sheep and horses; pets, food (if you like clay) and nice to look at. I especially like the mini pigs.

We toyed with the idea of spending the second half of our day at a nearby bronze age village archaeological site, but the heavens opened as we stepped from the hotel and we decided to get back to the DVD room instead.

Before we went to the terracotta army I'd gone to the train station and stood in an enormous hall with three thousand other people (none of whom know how to queue, all of whom were pushing and shoving to be served) to buy train tickets. After half an hour I got to the window to be told that foreigners got served at a different window! I took me almost two hours to get our tickets out... Anyway, we were getting the train on evening afternoon of our last day, the bags were stored for a while and we'd seen what DVD's we wanted so we decided to go and have a look at the Xi-an Great Mosque, maybe even find some felafel for lunch in the Muslim quarter.

The mosque is everything you'd expect from China, but completely nothing at all like any Muslim building I've ever seen. It had a tower of sorts that they called to prayer from, a hall at one end where people prayed and thats where the similarities stop. There were pavilions, pagodas, funny rocks and all sorts of oriental gubbins Mohammed would never have imagined back in Mecca. I really quite liked it. The Muslim quarter (really one very large tourist market) was also funky, more vibrant somehow than the rest of the city, if thats possible. We walked back to the hostel for lunch though, no felafel, just ducks feet soup.

Ancient, old and so far over the hill you need a bicycle to get there, Pingyao is a supremely historical, interesting, picturesque town of almost unmatched antiquity, value, importance and significance. Even UNESCO has marked it off as one of their own it's so nice. One wonders then, this being China after all, why the authorities (in their ever pervading wisdom) didn't bulldoze the whole place down to make way for a bevvie of high rise concrete apartment blocks (in the classic Russian style), thus sending out a statement to the world, consistent with other similar acts of cultural rape, that the really didn't give a bugger for what anyone says behind it's back or otherwise.

The old town

Perhaps thats not fair. Pingyao is so pristine in it's preservation of old and dead glories that it would, possibly be past even the most hard bitten of Chinese planning officers to order it's destruction (who am I kidding, it's the tourist dollars of course). Whatever the reason, it was, thankfully still there when Judith, John, Amanda and I fell off our first overnight train of many, a bit stiff but suprisingly well slept and feasted our groggy eyes.

Pingyao is about as old as a town can get, it's been around for about 3000 years! Mostly as a collection of mud huts I would imagine, but from the 14th Century some cunning merchants started one of China's first banks here and the money came pouring in soon after. The whole place is encircled by an enormous, completely in-tact City wall that protects its paved streets and wonderful courtyard houses. Even the air felt old as we were driven through one of the cardinal gates from the train station on a motorbike powered tuk-tuk. Our hotel, the Yamen, didn't let us down either. It is slap bang in the middle of everything, no spring chicken itself with five courtyards, funny roofs that curl up most oddly in that old Chinese fashion, great rooms, a DVD room, free internet, great staff and even good food!

Our oldy worldy hostel



We'd arrived at six something in the morning (not a time I see that often) and so had the pleasure of seeing the streets and buildings without the added accessory of hoards of tour groups following small women with flags and loudspeakers, themselves followed by stall holders and water salesmen. It is a really peacefull, emotive place in the early hours, much different to the busy streets we walked about in after we'd settled down, had a shower and gobbled down some brekkie. The Chinese are prolific tourists within their own country, you can't go anywhere of interest without bumping into a few thousand (a small gathering in China). It speaks well of their patriotism I suppose, but nothing ever goes on in this country on a small scale, everything has to be HUGE. Noise, traffic, pollution and crowds. Pingyao is no exception, but the whole town is an attraction, we found it easy to slip down a little side street where nobody was trying to sell us genuine antiques, eventually finding ourselves at the big outer wall (which is a bit cool) and stolling along that for a bit.

Snoozing 'antiqe' seller



There is quite a lot to see in Pingyao (City God Temple, War God Temple, Wealth God Temple, Lucky Fortune Temple, Taoist Temple, Confucious Temple... to name but a few) so we spent our first day there chilling out (watched Wallace and Grommitt and the Curse of the Ware-Rabbit), eating food, having a foot massage (Judith) and generally working hard to soak up the atmosphere using as little energy as possible. The next day, as if to catch up, we hired bikes.

Braving a tandem

Luckily most of Pingyao is off limits to traffic, so we're not dead. Our trusty steeds took us to the first bank, which was quite enormous and interesting for John who used to work in a bank, but not like this one, there was a room where they kept the silver ingots and a stable round the back. It even had a kitchen where the cooks used to make dinner for the richer customers! We biked round a few of the temples (the fake student cards from Bangkok paid for themselves today by the way), the Taoist was a personal favourite. In front of a huge statue of Lao Tze Amanda was blessed by a strangely dressed man, she got a yellow piece of paper with arcane symbols on it and was splashed a few times by what must have been holy water (I hope). Very cultural.

Being blessed in the Taosit temple

The walls were open to us that day and we got to climb into a few watchrowers and walk along the tops for a while with a stunning view inside over the old rooftop tiles. To the outside of course is the 'new' City of Pingyao, enormous, ugly and crowded. We didn't look that way too often. I found the only Christian Church in town and we managed to stop off at the City theatre hall to buy tickets for a show later that night. I didn't go because I was feeling a bit under the weather, but apparantly it was very good, men playing trumpets without a trumpet and lifting bicycles with their mouths and everything.

Chinese entertainment

It was over before we knew it in Pingyao. The most relaxing place we'd seen in China, ancient, un-moving history tends to settle a mans mind. Looking back it was one of the highlights and we loved it. The following morning we left our little hotel and got on a bus bound for Xi-an. More tourist madness at the Terracotta army awaited.

Bye bye donkeys and bikes, hello big city lights

Where the old Chinese Imperial court was concerned richness was the watchword of the day. They constructed huge palaces for themselves, filling them with the most expensive luxuries of the era. The Summer Palace is the pinacle of this blatant opulance.

Opulence and comfort, rich luxury, immense amounts of cash, headonism and indulgence. Thats what the Imperial court was all about. They tended to let their eunochs rule the country while they were busy chopping off heads and seeing to their Royal hareem. The Summer Palace (about 12 kilometres from the Forbidden City) is no exception. On the contrary, it is the pinacle of the Emperors' dramatic flair for spending. It is spread across a vast expanse of carefully manicured, perfectly planned gardens, a huge lake, islands, pagodas, stupid marble boats, statues, monuments (to themselves) and beautiful buildings. We tried to make it here a few days ago but got waylaid by my need for a new pair of specs. Today we managed to get there (through a combination of train and bus and a lot of tourist questions) with time to spare.

First impressions are of an overwhelmingly beautiful garden. It's old name means garden of clear ripples because of the lake. Now it's Chinese name means "Garden of Nurtured Harmony", for no reason I can think of. The Chinese love these ridiculous names; Longevity Hill, Cloud Dispelling Hall, Buddhist Temple of the Sea of Wisdom. We wizzed about trying to fit them all in along with the veritable mob of Chinese tourists that seem to follow us around wherever we go. My favourite was the 'Boat of Purity and Ease', built by the Dowager Empress Cixi with money that was supposed to have been spent on the Navy. It is made of solid Marble and doesn't float!

We all had an ice cream (thanks John) and went on a little boat cruise on Lake Kunming, it was a nice change from the train, watching the parkland slowly glide past with the ocasional Chinese pagoda leading down to the water. Our destination, South Lake Island was mostly under restoration for the Beijing Olympics,(as with everthing else) so we didn't get to see inside many of the buildings. The big bridge back to the mainland was a good place to stop though. It is covered in lion statues, each in a different pose, which occupied our time for a while.

The tallest and in my eyes most impressive building in the Summer Palace is the Tower of Buddhist Fragrance, which actually smells just like a normal Buddhist temple. It also has a massive statue in the top level (which is a long climb from the bottom level) of Buddhain one of his scary incarnations. He's huge, towering above the tiny mortals below, clutching all sorts of bits and pieces in his many, many arms. I for one was quite impressed.

A few more bus and train rides through Beijing saw us in Chongwenmen, quite close to our hostel. This was shopping country, malls and fast food restaurants crowded the wide, many laned streets in defiance of the Chinese political ethos. We ducked down a small alleyway and walked through the innocuous back streets for a while (till we were almost lost), went through a non-descript door and found ourselves at one of the entrances to Beijing's enormous underground City.

Everyone got a bit paranoid during the cold war. Americans in suburbia started to dig bomb shelters in their back gardens, CND made a killing on badge sales in Camden and the Chinese built a bunker under Beijing big enough to house more than 300,000 people! It's really, really massive, mile after mile of corridoor. We were taken round by a nice man in camouflage uniform and white trainers (which sort of spoiled the effect), who tried to tell us its history. His Accent was very strong however and we only got a few words. We didn't want to hurt his feelings so just nodded and smiled where we thought it was required and carried on.

The damp, mouldy-white tunnels had seen better days, intersperced with alcoved designed as meeting rooms, playrooms, libraries and whatnot. Along the walls were hung hundreds of framed photo's of military hardware from all over the world, planes, tanks, guns, subs... it all added to the ever increasing surreality of the place. To top it all off we came to the end and our damp warren opened out into a large hall lined with silk products. Our guide took us to a little table to show us how silk was produced (from silk worms) and told us to browse at our leisure... and feel free to spend lots of money. I couldn't believe they were pulling this one in China, a hater of the Wests evil capitalist ways. Then I remembered what Vietnam was like.

John and I waited for Amanda and Judith to do the obligatory shop, then went to get the train back to the hotel. I stopped off to give blood at a mobile donor centre, but they turned me away. Maybe non-Chinese blood isn't good enough.

We saw all a fantastic acrobatic show. The performers were utterly inhuman. From bending their bodies in a hundred directions whilst holding trays of wine and rolling about on the floor without spilling a drop to throwing piles of bowls onto each others heads using only their feet, whilst riding a seven foot tall unicycle! They were amazing. The tumblers defied gravity, a group of women did things with a diablos I never thought possible and a gang of lads threw themselves through tiny hoops high above their heads. Everyone was amazed,even the Slovakian gymnastic group we were with. We all needed a good couple of beers to calm down before bed.